Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Vote! Vote! Vote!

For some reason, I just can't keep my brain on what I'm supposed to be doing here at work today. Wonder why that is? I keep surfing all the news and polling sites for some tidbit of a result. And it's what--only 9:30 in the morning? It's going to be a long-ass day.

I did have to threaten a firing over racial commentary, thanks to one of my employees bringing in what she called "Presidential Donuts"--chocolate for Obama, powdered for McCain, and some other flavor for the undecided. She's a McCain voter. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

I did head to the polls early this morning. Well, early for me--as in I left the house a full 15 minutes before I was due in to work. My polling place was at the civic center, and I expected there to be quite a few others trying to get their votes in before work. Wrong! The lines were short and moved pretty quickly, and the volunteers were friendly (of course, it was still early in the day). I was actually only 15 minutes late to work! I would like to think that the short lines were due to the number of people who voted early and not people waiting until later today.

Anyway, in order to provide a modicum of distraction from election results and Fox News pundits idiocies, I'm posting the following list that I got from the Daily Groaner.

The Biggest Lies
The check is in the mail.
I'll respect you in the morning.
I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
It's only a cold sore.
You get this one, I'll pay next time.
My wife doesn't understand me.
Trust me, I'll take care of everything.
Of course I love you.
I am getting a divorce.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
I never inhaled.
It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
I never watch television except for PBS.
...but we can still be good friends.
She means nothing to me.
Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
I gave at the office.
Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
I'll call you later.
We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
Read my lips: no new taxes
I've never done anything like this before
Now, I'm going to tell you the truth
It's supposed to make that noise.
I *love* your new hat/haircut/dress/suit...!
...then take a left. You can't miss it.
Yes, I did.
Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile...

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