Saturday, May 30, 2009

Seven More Days

I almost brushed my teeth with deodorant this morning.

Yes. That's how tired I am. It's Saturday and the alarm went off at 5 a.m. I shifted the furrballs off of me, staggered to the bathroom, showered, got dressed, got deodorant in the proper spots, then turned on the water at the sink and picked up my toothbrush. I reached for "toothpaste" and looked down to find I actually had the lid off the deodorant and was centimeters away from smearing it across my toothbrush. I just stood there for a few seconds going "huh."

Just a few more hours to go at work today, then tomorrow and then Monday through Friday. And after that? Say it with me, folks: VACATION!!

No plans to go anywhere, this is a complete and total "stay-cation" with a few trips to Home Depot thrown in for fun. There's a ton of projects around the house to finish and the list gets longer every day. *sigh* Home ownership is fun!

The World's Greatest Nephew (patent pending on the title) turned 10 years old yesterday. Cannot believe the cuddly little thing who spent the first few months of his life peeing on me (my shoes were always a favorite target) has hit double digits. One of us is getting old, and it ain't me!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What Have We Been Up To?

So this month I've worked every day with just two full days off. It's been hard to keep the days straight, much less relay everything the boys have been up to. I finally got pictures downloaded, so thought I'd share a few.

Jake napping with a good book.
Izzy hiding out in my purse. I didn't realize he was in there until I picked it up. Sneaky little imp.

A shot from the Beach Boys concert. The one night this month I actually went out. Of course, it was with my parents.
Dad at the concert. Not sure if he was enjoying it or not. He sat like that through the entire show.
My Peruvian Daffodils started blooming, as did my dahlias below. All right, now that I look at it, there's really not a lot that happened this month. At least that I can remember. Mostly I've put everything aside until I finish the work stretch. After this weekend I actually get my life back! Plus, I get to take a week of vacation, mostly made up of the comp time I've built up this month. Can't wait to get to sleep in. My body is now trained to obey the alarm clock seven days a week. Must break the cycle!

New Floor

My latest DIY project has dragged on way too long. I bought the laminate flooring in February, and laid down a few boards in March (note Jake below napping on the work in progress.) Then at the end of April, my sister came over and we got the flooring about halfway across the room. Starting to look pretty, isn't it? I now need just 4 rows to complete the whole thing. But I've hit a snag. I can't get a board to lay correctly at one spot. I've taken rows up and laid them back down thinking I had something off somewhere. After hitting the same snag at the same spot multiple times, I now have to wait until I get some help in figuring it out. In the meantime, the boys are making the best of things.

Jake found a sunny spot, even if it is on top of a pile of boards and floor padding. And of course on Memorial Day, the family got together and took a nap. Or two. It really shouldn't take three months to finish putting down flooring in a 14x16 room.

Weak Seams, Wide Load

Okay, this story is embarrassing, but I'm still laughing about it, so I might as well share.

I left work and went to the used book store this afternoon in search of a book. After an hour of searching, I didn't find the one I was looking for, but one on the same subject.

Anyway, I left the store and as I was getting in the car, I felt my pants rip. I mean seriously ripped. Suddenly there was a lot more breathing room in my pants.

I started laughing almost hysterically about it. Especially when I started thinking about all the times I had squatted down in the store to look at books on the lower shelves. And believe me, I did that quite a bit as I scanned for the book I was looking for. This could have been so much more embarrassing! I had to text Becci to tell her what had happened.

At least it happened as I was leaving and getting in my car because I had absolutely nothing to cover my keister with. And it's a good thing I wore boy shorts today! LOL!!

So my next problem was to get from my car into the house. I pulled into the driveway and started scanning for neighbors. Whew! No one around.

I got out of the car, but there was no way to hide the giant rip. I tried to hold my purse behind me along with the books I'd bought. Then I looked down and saw my bra was completely showing. What the hell!? My shirt was coming unbuttoned! Somehow the buttons had come undone! If this keeps up I'll be naked before I reach the house!

Why is it that when you try to hurry the most, more things go wrong? As I was trying to unlock the door, and keep my rear and my chest hidden from view, I dropped the keys. Dammit! Hurry up and get them before someone drives by. I bent over to snag the keys and felt the split open even wider. Full moon over here!

I cracked up as soon as I set foot in the house. It was hilarious enough to me that I decided to even share the following embarrassing picture.

Note, objects in picture are as big as they seem. I'm putting down the laptop and getting back on the elliptical. And probably not eating for a week. Especially now that I've had not one but two Subway commercial moments.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I Love to Dance a Little Sidestep

I went wild Saturday night and went to see the Beach Boys with my parents and my aunt. Yeah, I know--Slow down there, Sister! LOL!! I have been going to see them since I was a little girl, but this was the first time I'd seen them since the split (Mike and Bruce together and Al went his own way.) My parents recall their music as being a part of their dating life. Apparently "Barbara Ann" was big at the skating rink!

On the drive home, my aunt and I somehow got on the subject of politicians. Not politics, mind you. We're too far opposite to have a decent conversation. She pretty much thinks I'm a crazy liberal, but she's the one with more gay friends and a strong affinity for Wayans Brothers movies. Whatever. We just can't seem to see eye to eye even when we happen to be on the same side so it's best just to not bring it up.

Anyway, we started talking about this clip from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and I thought I'd share. One thing she and I do agree on is that the majority of politicians talk a lot while saying nothing at all. And the fact that we're both fans of this movie led us to recall Charles Durning's Oscar-nominated performance as the governor of Texas. Too bad Rick Perry can't dance this well! (And yes, that is the recently departed Dom Deluise in a bad wig.)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It Ain't Easy Goin' Green When You're a Picky Eater

**I was scoping old posts and discovered this one saved as a draft. Not sure why I didn't get it posted two months ago, but here it is. And no, I don't want to hear from dedicated healthy eaters on this one who are pissed because I didn't fall head over heels for Kashi. I'm not really dissing the foods discussed here. I'm just saying I could use some training wheels on my path to better living.**

Since the beginning of the new year, I have been trying to watch what I eat (and I mean more so than just watching the food as it disappears into my mouth.) I've cut back on the fast food eating. I no longer hit Sonic or Dairy Queen for snacks all the time, either. The greasy breakfast food has also been RIF'd.

In the interest of changing my eating habits while not actually having to cook or prepare anything, I started looking at what was available at the grocery store. Kashi has been getting pretty good press, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

First off was breakfast cereal. Mighty Bites is shaped like little people, which is a tad on the freaky side. Taste isn't so bad. It's like Lucky Charms without the marshmallows. And the sugar. So, actually, it's the part of Lucky Charms you save for last. (I have to fess up that I let the cereal go stale, so I threw it out.) Then I found their Lemon Rosemary Chicken frozen entree. OK, I said to myself. This doesn't look too bad. In fact, it actually looks pretty good. And I really like Rosemary Chicken (btw, Red Lobster, you really should put it back on the menu!)

I took a box to work and heated it up for lunch. Here's the grade: the chicken was rosemaried and lemony as promised, so A+ on that. The sugar snap peas weren't too bad, so I'll grade them a B. I can't stand mushrooms of any sort, so those were dug out and tossed before the meal even hit the microwave. Their Kashi® 7 Whole Grains Pilaf is where things really went off the rails. It looks like oatmeal (ok, I can get past that--it's healthy, right?) and tastes like I'm eating the weevils that got into said oatmeal after it resided in the pantry for a few years. And it could have used some butter and sugar. D- on the pilaf! (F for the popping sensation as I chewed that made me think of weevils!)

There are some other meals I would have liked to try, like the Lime Chipotle Shrimp, but the majority of their entrees come with that gnarly pilaf. Kashi, could you please make some "starter" meals for those of us new to healthy living? Easing into this would make it a lot easier to stick with it.

And in the interest of trying to cut out my Hershey-related snacking, I picked up a couple of thinkGreen nutrition bars in the Peanut Butter Chocolate flavor. Now here's something that will help ease me into better eating, right? Well, maybe, if they hadn't stuck nasty RAISINS in it!!!!!

I might actually have gotten past the first bite if not for those. I cannot stand raisins! They are rotten grapes! And raisins and chocolate do not mix! Peanut butter and chocolate mix! Marshmallow and chocolate mix! Strawberries and chocolate mix! Almonds and walnuts and pecans and peanuts mix with chocolate! Raisins do not!

The people over at thinkProducts are pretty sneaky. Raisins is buried down pretty far on the ingredients list. Technically, it's at number 4, but all the parenthetical inclusions on the preceding ingredients hides it much further down. And the taste of dates is pretty overwhelming, as well. I recommend it to much more experienced healthy eaters than I. But right now I'm pissed I paid 2 bucks for a snack bar I'm not going to eat.

So far, I have not succeeded in finding a "good" prepackaged health food (and by that, I mean something a professional processed food eater can get into immediately.) Even Lean Cuisine let me down with their chicken fried rice bowl. And typically, after I've picked out all the stuff I won't eat, there's not much left of those meals. I might actually have to cook, just so I can keep out the ingredients I don't like.

Today I'm going to just go simple and have a salad for lunch. With bacon. And possibly chicken. And tons of Ranch. Damn, I've blown it already.
**Note: Screw salads, today was Mexican Food Wednesday. Arriba!**

Following Up on a Promise

OK, I promised to post this a while ago. I actually got it uploaded to YouTube, but never went any further. (And today, I actually had to THINK to remember YouTube's URL. Damn, I need a vacation.)

So now, here it is, Jake and his security blankey! Anytime he does the "kneading" he has a blanket clasped in his teeth. Never seen any cat do that before. (Try to ignore the bare wall and tools seen behind him--remember, my house is still going through renovations.)

Ummm... What???

Either I'm sleep deprived, or I actually saw this on the interwebs. Possibly both.

Is that a gun stuck to his head?? Check it out for yourself over at Picture is

I'll post some photos of last night's misadventures of the Destructo-Cats (I'm thinking of trademarking that name) as soon as I track down my card reader. I'm starting to think one of them ate it. Along with everything else that's not nailed down.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Can't Blog.... Sleeping.... Zzzzzzzzzzzz

I've worked two weeks straight with one day off. No break in sight until this weekend.

In the meantime, when I'm not at work, I'm at home with the boys and all of us are typically in various stages of sleep. See below.

That would be me they're sleeping on top of in the last picture.
It's rainy and dark today, or what I like to call sleeping weather. Jake even tucked himself into bed this morning instead of getting up. Wish I could have stayed snuggled up with him. But, duty calls. Will blog more when the brain cells are rested and firing again. Or if something really pisses me off!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

*Pant* *Click* *Pant* *Click* *Gasp* *Click* *Pant*

That would be me, and the sounds coming from the area of the elliptical machine. Yes, I have made sure my chubby ass has been on that taunting bastard for at least 30 minutes the past two nights. And I hope to continue.

From the amount of sweat rolling down my stomach and back and the pain in my thighs, you'd think I'd be working off some major calories. Nope. After 30 minutes last night, I had burned a total of 220 calories. That's not even the equivalent of one chocolate chip cookie! I think the monitor on the machine is lying to me.

The only thing I like about the machine is that it positions my feet far enough apart on the pedals so my thighs don't rub together. Because let's face it, there's no need to start a fire while exercising. It's really hard to get the smell of burned exercise shorts out of the curtains. (And it's horrible to get off the machine and have your rubbery sweaty thighs instantly glue themselves together. Blech!)

When I first got the elliptical (umm, let's see, that was back in March?) I figured I would watch TV while on it. I could just picture myself trucking right on while watching my favorite programs or movies.

Real life, of course, is nothing like that. It's possible, but I keep getting bored by what's on and then I get distracted by the pain in my thighs. And once you start concentrating on the pain, it's pretty much over. Also, it's really hard to hear what Jon Stewart's saying over the panting and gasping for air.

So, I tried a different technique--and here's where it's a good thing I live alone. I charged up my MP3 player and plugged in the earphones. Now I sing at the top of my lungs while exercising. Of course, I can't really call it singing, more like off-key dying moans set to music only I can hear. The boys have decided hanging around outside is better than staying in the same house with me.

And keeping them out of the room is a good thing, since Jake got himself trapped between the wall and the machine the other night. Poor kid almost climbed the wall in order to get out of there. I didn't know he was stuck for a while because I was so busy listening to an old Barbara Mandrell song ("If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right) and gasping at the top of my lungs while mouthing the words. I suddenly sensed he was behind me and turned to find him standing on his hind legs with his back up against the wall. From the desperation written on his face, I think he was wishing he would suddenly disappear into the wall in order to get out of there. I stopped for a minute and coaxed him out, then watched him flee for his life.

Dude, if I were as skinny as he is, I'd run from that damned machine, too.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Joys of Raising Kittens

So it's been a week since you all last heard from me. I'm still sick. No, it's not N1H1, just a runaway sinus infection that has moved to my chest. Coughing, sniffing, sneezing, blowing, throat clearing, all that gross jazz just to clear away the phlegm. I've even grossed myself out at times with the noises I've made, and that's hard to do. Plus, at one point, I'm pretty sure I quacked like a duck.

Now, if none of that made sense, blame the cough syrup. Yes, I got a lovely new prescription filled with codeine and life breezes right on by in a lovely hazy sort of fashion.

So, back to the title of the post. Life with two cats still in babyhood, and one almost-grownup cat, is... interesting, to say the least. I have found vomit in the weirdest places. Not to mention some of the things I have seen in that vomit. (Sorry, grossed myself out again.)

The sheer number of cat toys is about to push me out of my own home. And I hope the shredded look for furniture comes into vogue soon. Typically, as I'm stopping one from scratching the couch, one of the other two starts in on the chair. I started keeping their basket of cat toys nearby so I can wing one at them as they start scratching. But I think I'm sending mixed signals--scratch the couch, get a toy.

All during the night, the babies are active. They start to settle down to sleep, all cuddled up with me, but then they're right back up, moving around, laying back down, getting back up, etc. until I almost toss them off the bed in an effort to get some sleep. I wake up multiple times during the night with a cat butt in my face or someone sleeping on my neck with his whiskers tickling my face. And of course, if there's any kind of noise during the night, they come flying into the bedroom, fur and tail puffed out, and stand on my head so I know something's out there. Typically it's just the wind blowing the wind chimes. (I guess I could use them as a cheap alarm system.)

The babies have been banned from going into my bathroom now that Izzy was caught peeing in the closet--far away from any litter box. Sam still gets to go in there and sleep because it's the only place he can get any peace from them. This morning as I was getting ready for work, Izzy was crying on the other side of the door (actually, he sounded more like a ferret) and sticking his little tiny paw underneath the door in a bid for my sympathy. I almost gave in, but the fact that I have to clear out the closet floor and shampoo the carpet this weekend kept me strong.

Every morning I get out of bed wondering what destruction has befallen my house during the night. Stuff is usually knocked onto the floor, the couch cleared off, and the trash dug into. Most times I have to be wary of where I step. Like this morning, and I warn you, this actually made me toss cookies I haven't eaten yet! Save yourself, stop reading now, click on one of the blogs over in the sidebar and come back when this post is over.

Are you gone? Seriously, I am going to tell this story. This is your last chance!

You were warned. Here goes--I walked into the kitchen this morning, barefoot, and stepped on something not so much squishy, but not too firm, either. I looked down and saw what I thought was a furry fake mouse. Oh, how I wish it had been one of those little fake mice. Dear God, why couldn't it have been fake?? I thought it was, at first. I thought one of my little nincompoops had actually tried to eat a fake mouse and tossed it up. It was the exact same size as their toy mice. I know this because one was lying nearby.

I bent down to inspect it further.

Oh, Dear Lord in Heaven! I had trod upon the severed head of an actual mouse! Laying in my kitchen floor on my brand new rug from World Market! (I'll spare anyone unfortunate enough to still be reading this any description of the viscera that was still attached.) Usually I have a pretty strong stomach for stuff like that. I guess the phlegm has weakened more than my immune system. The rise of bile was immediate. I might have to burn the kitchen rug.

Once I pulled myself together, I picked the nasty little thing up and tossed it out into the backyard. And not one of the boys seemed upset that his plaything had left the building. (Dear Lord, please don't let it be back in the house when I get home!)

Okay, story's over. It's safe to return to this blog now.

But I have to say it wasn't until I got to work that I wondered where the rest of the mouse is. Blech!