Hand Over the Chocolate and No One Gets Hurt!

I have a conference call coming up in a bit, for which I was feeling the need for a little emotional bolstering. These calls are just a huge annoyance wherein everything gets rehashed, but nothing moves forward and I just want to bang my head on my desk until I pass out. So despite my better judgment--led mainly by my emotions rather than my stomach--I headed for the vending machine to grab a little chocolate therapy.

I put in my coins, pressed the buttons to select the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and got the message "Please Make Another Selection." WHAT?!?!?! I can clearly see my Reese's sitting there waiting for me to free them from the clutches of the machine. I can already taste the peanut buttery chocolate goodness of them.

I try it again. Same message. Grrrrr! Foiled again! What's the deal?? Did my scale communicate with this machine about my increasing weight? Did it somehow know I had to change clothes twice this morning before I found something that didn't accentuate my ass?

These thoughts just made my need for chocolate increase. Instead of hitting the coin return, collecting my change, and slinking back to my office with a renewed determination to watch what I eat, I hit the select buttons for the Hershey's bar. Large size. But at least it has almonds. Those are healthy, right??

Maybe these vending machines really should start helping us out more. Perhaps there should be a scale we stand on as we insert our money. Based on our weight, the machine chooses for us. Those needing to drop a few pounds get the smaller portioned lower fat items. Those floating through life not having to care about what they eat get to actually choose what they want.

Or maybe we should have a code we input everytime we use the machine and it keeps track of what we're purchasing. That way when you get a "That's your third Giant Size Snickers today. Maybe you should take a walk instead" it just returns your money and won't let you have anything else.

But this also leads me to the evil that are candy manufacturers. Do we really need to purchase Extra Large or Giant sized chocolate bars? Does this not just lead to us getting fatter? Those of us who fill emotional voids with chocolate will purchase the candy no matter what the size. The bigger the bar, the more there is for us to shove inside. There's no such thing as eating part of it and saving the rest for later. We're dealing with emotions here, people!

And now I'm out of chocolate again. Dang! Thankfully I am also out of change.