Bow Down Before It

I was cleaning the kitchen last night and after moving piles of discarded plastic grocery sacks, Hershey Kiss wrappers and empty pizza boxes, I made an archaeological find--there's this magic box that makes food hot! Does anyone else know about this?!?! If you put a pan of water on top of it and turn it on, the water starts to bubble. Amazing!

OK, I admit it, I'm no chef. I'm a microwaver with some rudimentary baking skills. (Just check out this post for an example!) In my opinion, if it doesn't come in a box from the freezer, then there's not much point in me messing with it. I prefer popping something in the nuke box or the oven and walking away until the timer goes off. Having to stand over the stove and stir, grate, stir, chop, stir, blah blah blah, stir, simmer, stir, just leaves me desiring a trip to Sonic.

But, except for a few ice trays and smoothie mixers, the freezer is currently rather bare. So I had to go spelunking in the cabinet and uncover a box of mac and cheese. (Thanks to a high utility bill this month plus the money I spent during the holidays, it looks like I'm going to be eating a lot of mac and cheese.)

Purpose of this post? I can't really find one. Purpose of Joe the Plumber getting a job as a foreign correspondent? Even less. It's just a desperate attempt at extending his fifteen minutes of "fame." And depressing to those of us who went to school to learn about reporting the news.

I need to run my journalism degree through the shredder. Or maybe I'll fry it up and eat it with a nice sauce.

Stick to Microwaving

So for some reason this morning I decided I wanted nice hot biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Looking back, I should have just gone to IHOP.

I started out well. I managed to get the ingredients into the bowl, stirred, and turned out onto a floured surface to roll out the dough and cut out the biscuits. No sweat, things are going well. The oven is preheating, the pan greased and ready. I put my beautiful little circles of dough in the pan, pop it into the oven, and set the timer. Twelve minutes later I had this:



Yes, I had something usually only created by Elly Mae Clampett. I considered using them for drink coasters, then thought it wouldn't be too bad if I covered them in butter and honey. Wrong. There's not enough sticky sweet honey in the world to make them palatable. I think I'll take them to the lake and use them as skipping stones, but with my luck I'll injure wildlife.